The Problem with Motivation

"But what do you do with the kids that just don't want to be there? Don't want to learn?"

I've been considering this question a lot lately, as I write a paper on intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation.

The short answer is

"You give them a reason to want to learn"

But what does that look like?

A popular (or maybe just popular to me) song by Ben Rector (if you've never heard of him, seriously look him up), called Wanna be Loved is one of my favorites. Besides the catchy tune and gentle, flowing rhythm, the song has a powerful message, which you might have guessed.

Everybody wants love.

It's why my heart beats when the telephone rings, and why I try to say funny things. He sings.

And it's true. Everyone wants to be loved.

Many, from damaging experiences, don't know what real love looks like, or how to achieve it, but everyone tries their utmost to gain that love from others. 

This is especially true for kids. Which is where my musings on the subject come in.

We all know that kid who does everything they can to get on your bad side. These are the kids who are defiant, break things, get into arguments with other kids, distract others from their work, and generally seem to make it their goal to be a nuisance to the classroom. 

They're really kind of my favorite kids, to be honest.

Even though they drive me crazy sometimes, I can't help but see the same desire in them as everyone else, and my heart breaks for them, because they are just as lost as the rest of the world.

They just want to be loved. 

This manifests itself as a drive to gain attention, usually in any way possible. If doing the right thing doesn't get attention, then why not do the wrong thing?

They don't know what real love, or even real attention looks like, so they settle for a cheap substitute.

Does that sound like any adults you know?

Kids are pretty straightforward. If they don't like something, they'll tell you. If they do like something, they'll ask for more of it. Most kids, especially the littles, haven't yet perfected manipulation or are even cognitively ready for the idea. 

Most of the time, they simply understand how to get what they want in the fastest way possible. 

If that means getting attention by throwing books on the floor, then so be it.

As I work with kids of various ages, in my current job at a tutoring business, I'm beginning to realize that it's not my job to fix ingrained habits of these kiddos. Even if it was, I would be unsuccessful. 

In fact, the fastest way to help kids who are struggling with motivation, interest in learning, and a myriad of other problems, is to simply give them the love and attention that they so desperately crave, before they have to "ask" for it in the disruptive ways.

If I can show them that I operate differently, and that I will help them get what they want, their guards will (hopefully), slowly begin to lower. 

That is when the real life learning can begin to take place. 

Miss Hanna

The Possible Power of Example

They say it all the time: 

Today I may have caught a glimpse of it...which, as teachers we often do. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly...you name it, the students have probably imitated it. That's my theme for today.
Because I spend a lot of time living in the world and not much time on the planet of the interwebs (besides the ever-too-often daily vacation there during my summer job), I don't have much time tonight to talk about day 2 in DayCare2.

• I'm easing my way into the room. In regards to yesterday's goal of  probing the lead teachers for a general direction of my job in the room...the conversation went like this: 

Me: "So, is there anything specific you need my help with today?"

Miss L: "Um...not really...*looks around the room* Just...play with the kids I guess :)"

Slightly-disappointed-yet-intrinsically-optimistic me: "Sure! I can do that!"

...I was slightly disappointed because I am THAT person who can do most anything but is much much happier when she knows what needs to be done.

• I suppose I may have led by example today because the lead teachers began the same read-aloud technique I was with a group of 5 or 6 kids. What this technique looks like mainly consists of the child's interest in the book and basically everything not worth mentioned is mentioned and talked about.
• I very much took on the role of assisting the two children with special needs. I don't mind just being with these two children. Especially Cole, who is severely visually impaired. Cole is very sweet and he sat with his head on my leg for at least 15 minutes. I'm becoming move and more interested in why he does the things he does. 
• I was too afraid to ask if the room was always chaos like today. 

More background to come later. Until then,

-Miss Liz

Going Slowly

"It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius

Because I feel as though I'm moving slowly. Because I feel as though the day is slugging its way along past me without my even trying. Because I'm exhausted and would rather be sleeping.

My mother suggested to me to keep a journal of my experiences at DayCare2. Even if it's a sentence a day.*

Today?

• The kids flocked to me. This happens every time I: 1) am the "new kid" at the day care, 2) get down on their level and show even the least interest in what's on the floor. If ever you feel unloved and unwanted, just sit down on the floor of a room in a daycare, ask one child what he/she is doing in the most genuine and gentle way, and wait 30 seconds. You'll have at least five children eating out of the palm of your hands (especially if you have food, I'm sure...however, I wouldn't suggest doing this as it may be uncalled for in a licensed day care).
• The morning was chaos, I'm sure it's partly that I was in the room.
• Due to the swarm of children and chaos, I wondered why the other two main teachers were not engaging the children and leaving me to fend for myself.
• And then I thought: "Hey. I'm here as a volunteer and an observer...tomorrow, my second day in the classroom, I'm going to observe...maybe they don't engage the children much at all - in which case, my presence and energy would be new and unfathomed, only awakening in them this desire for attention.

*She also proposed that I use this time as an "experiment"...however, I'm not quite sure she knows herself what that would entail.